Welcome to the Gayborhood

Alright Brian, we can do this...

I look down exasperated at the dozen-odd buttons on the console: all in Korean, none with diagrams. All I want it to do is flush... I brace myself and press a button-Very high-pressure bidet!... Alright, OK, um, that's sanitary. How about this one? No...

Seat warmer, no...

Sounds of nature, no...

Warm breeze, no...

Oh my god! Make the bidet stop! Clawing at buttons I feel myself starting to freak out. The man in the next stall starts laughing...

Got it! I jump up and whip around. The toilet stares back at me coldly. The little digital birds and frogs chirrup and tweet for a moment. Then it silences them... and it flushes.